Oh Boy

*blows dust off of mic*

I’m finally back on the blog, and this time I bring good news. I’m promising to try my best to share my thoughts, feelings, and experiences now that I am officially moving to Los Angeles 😃 with a job!

You are now reading the content of Reformation‘s newest Business Analyst 💁🏽

I got the news yesterday when the Lead Recruiter from “Ref” called me as I was easing into Episode 4 of the new season of Orange is the New Black. My references checked out, my interviews went really well, and they want me to start as soon as I can.

If you don’t click on the link above, you’ll never understand how cool this company is – THEY HAVE DOGS IN THE OFFICE ‼️

Check out Ref on Facebook and Instagram!

Hence the “Oh Boy”

The agreed start date is July 3rd, meaning every plan I made for the summer is thrown away like my clothes I’ll discard that are too ugly for the trendiest city in the country. Every time I think I can cheat life with my own plans, it decides to prove me wrong.

“Drop everything and adapt.” – Life

So, now what? What the heck is my first move? A place to live would be nice, but I know that’s going to take hours of research and overly friendly messages to people who have listed their properties in the Facebook housing groups I’ve joined. Thank god I know people who were able to open my eyes to that as a place to start looking.

I’ve asked those same connections about which neighborhoods I should target, and so far the popular suggestions are: Silver Lake, Los Feliz, and areas of downtown LA, which is where my new office is located.

Let’s Backtrack For a Sec

Two weeks ago, my farmer friend posted a Snapchat story asking for strawberry pickers available Mon-Fri – I saw it and surprised myself with how interested I was in his offer. After he broke down the details of the gig via text, we made an electronic handshake to seal the deal. I picked 6 days out of the past two weeks, and each day left its mark on my legs and glutes. The nights I went out after a day in the fields, I waddled instead of walking and fell onto every couch I sat on because I wasn’t physically capable of sitting down like a human being.

It got better as time went on, I’m just being dramatic.

I really enjoyed picking strawberries. I was surrounded by a healthy snack, met some new people, got cash in my pocket, and spent my days catching rays under the sun. I worked with my hands (which were usually stained red) and went home feeling extremely accomplished – there’s nothing better than earning your shower. Most importantly, though, I now have one of those stories I can use against my future children when I tell them to suck it up or be grateful.

“I didn’t walk uphill both ways in the snow to get to school, but I did pick strawberries for a few weeks.”

The Return to IT

I had no idea I’d be asked to move so quickly if I did get the job. Before I received the big call yesterday, the only thing on my mind was going back to Zentek Farms on Monday to collect more strawberries for smoothies and jam. AND my sister is getting married next weekend! That’s kind of a big deal.

Yeah, I made jam.

Now I have an entirely new purpose. I’m joining a team of individuals who are passionate about launching this incredible clothing line further into success, and I’m stunned I get to be apart of something so ambitious…AND sustainable! Life is swirling in circles while it flips me upside down, and I’m just trying my best to make it through to the other side.

To Summarize

• My sister’s getting married
• I’m done picking strawberries
• I’m moving to Los Angeles and joining the fashion industry
• Reformation’s office has DOGS!

Thank you to everyone who has expressed support since I made the news public. I hope you’ll bear with me down this exciting but soon-to-be rocky road!

✌🏼

Now That It’s Been a Few Days…

Peep the video, then read the post…or do it the other way around. Whatever.

…I can write a post about how it’s been adjusting to being in the city. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve already had a few waves of homesickness.

We’ve had our fair share of the nightlife thus far. When you’re six hours off from what you’re used to, you wake up late in the morning – or early afternoon in our case. I think we deserved ourselves a bit of fun to kick our adventure off right.

Night #2 started at the bar across the street.

Inside was a drunk man named Kevin who insisted he was gay but proceeded to hit on us and try to kiss our cheeks. He may or may not have stuck his tongue out at us, and it wasn’t in a childish way. Don’t worry, it wasn’t just us. He did it to everyone in the bar…including the owner who was drunk off his ass on a Wednesday night. The other folks inside the bar included the bartender, another bar employee, and a man gambling his money away at a machine that was not being very nice to him.

Though I don’t remember their names, I remember everything about them.

First, I spoke with the other bar employee who has a brown ponytail and beard. I could barely hear him over the Dutch music reverberating off of the shiny foil-looking walls, but he told me he was from Romania and had lived in Amsterdam for 11 years. Apparently he came for a week’s visit with his friends and never went back. I’ve always wanted to meet someone who said “fuck it” that way, especially since this transition hasn’t been an easy one for me. I admire the way of the nomad – free to go wherever they’re drawn to rather than being stunted by the attachment to one place. It’s currently something I’m trying to master.

He pointed me toward the corner where another employee was curled up asleep in bed. This guy’s job was to be ridiculously cute.

Okay, so the cat lady in me got out before I could stop her. This little nugget had piercing blue eyes and a thing for walking on the bar, and he almost fell asleep in my arms! My Romanian friend pictured above on the left told me he likes to call him “Friend”…which I misheard, so I called him Frank (shoutout to you, Frank!)

While I was drooling over kitty Frank, Shannon was making friends with the bartender. She only bartends two nights a week, and for the rest of the time she’s an office manager and is running her own business of being a stylist. She told us that Shannon’s color is coral, and that I’m a bottle-green or cherry. “It’s all about the subtle accents,” she said. Nails, lips, jewelry…all of these things go with a white blouse and black pants or jeans. I asked her where she was when I packed all of the other unnecessary shit in my suitcase.

Because we were wide awake at midnight, we ventured into the Square again.

We walked around a few blocks to get to know the area and look for an ATM. Neither things happened, but we did find a cool McDonald’s where you pay on an LCD menu screen you’re ordering on. We also ran into two guys from Texas who said “y’all” many times. They had come to Amsterdam to indulge in the greenery.

💚

We found a bar that was open late named Woody’s, which we quickly discovered was a gay bar. The bartender poured us fireball shots that tasted like jaeger while putting his entire mouth around his glass of beer and knocking it back. People were dressed up in togas and singing Whitney Houston. All of it reminded me of college.

I’m totally watching this show right now (The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt).

Our last and final stop was a tourist bar, Prime. Not gonna lie, I loved the familiar music that I could understand and dance to, but the best part about it was the free drinks we got from our new friends from the U.K.

All in all, we stayed up too late and missed half of another day because of it. Yesterday we wandered around aimlessly and visited the Red Light District before 10 pm, which we may go back to tonight to see it in its true late-night form. More to come on that one and the Rijksmuseum we visited today 😁

✌🏼

“Hold On” – Alabama Shakes

I’m sitting in my cluttered room listening to the likable blues rock band called Alabama Shakes. The featured song is one that my sister Brittany and I enjoy belting in the car, which we just did on our way back from the pet store in Wallingford. We cherished a beautiful half hour with a Weimaraner named Jade.

Jade was a wittle sweepy 😴

So yeah, I put off cleaning up the tornado of a bedroom I’m living out of for another week…and the car that has my summer clothes thrown all over the backseat because they were in a garbage bag that ripped back in October – that’s how lazy I am. I moved out of my house into my parents’, and I’m being resistant.

Song change:

As terrible as it sounds, I don’t want to tie up my loose ends here. I don’t want to say goodbye to people over dinner or a drink or a tight-squeeze of a hug. I’ve learned that I’m really bad at goodbyes, so I’d rather just not do them in the first place. Nobody should take that personally, I just don’t like being sad.

I still don’t know what perfectly prepared looks like on paper, all I know is that I’m not it. Is anyone ever ready to take on a new adventure? All I feel is the knot in my stomach that’s reacting to the doubt whispering in my ear that’s telling me this could be a huge mistake.

In a sense, I went and fucked up my whole life…not necessarily in a bad way, but I pointed out the biggest pieces of foundation and I ripped them out of the ground. There’s rubble everywhere, and I’m being forced to clean up the literal mess that I’ve created for myself.

What if somedays I don’t feel like dealing with this massive thing I’ve plopped on my to-do list for an indefinite amount of time? I’ve signed myself up for a struggle I can only tackle when I feel like I have the ability to, which will force me to find strength in unfamiliar places. I can no longer hide from my responsibilities. I can no longer choose to feel small when I have an endless amount of tasks to complete. There’s no more room for feeling sorry for myself.

I’m someone who draws power from the people I love that love me back. I want to focus on ways to keep connected with those who are fueling me even before I leave, like a Flat Stanley-type idea, for example, where myself and my support network will stay close in our hearts no matter the physical distance between us…and then we can Instagram it, of course.

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While wrapping up that last paragraph, somebody rang our doorbell. My dad answered and I heard a familiar voice saying my name…it was my friend Steph‘s dad and he had an envelope in his hands. He handed it to me as he said “Steph is in Hawaii so she isn’t able to say goodbye to you and she wanted me to give you this.” Inside were exactly the words I needed to hear from such a dear friend.

Steph, if you’re reading this, I want you to know how lucky I am to have you in my life. You and I have been friends since God-knows-when and I know we will continue to be rooting each other on for the rest of our lives. Thank you for considering me even while you’re exploring freakin’ Hawaii…I hope you can come visit and show me around the places you went to while you were in A’dam. I love you ❤️ & hope you have an awesome trip!

Man, I am feeling thankful.

✌🏼

We Found A Place To Live!

Best parts about our new apartment:

• It’s in the heart of Amsterdam
• It’s 2 bedrooms
• Modern AF
• And for the grand finale…IT HAS A WASHER/DRYER!

I am not one to commit to a place without having seen it first, even for a weekend getaway on AirBnB, but that’s just something I have to get over.

We live in an era where we have to learn to trust the power of transparency even though photoshop pokes its ugly head in almost every picture posted on the Internet.

Me reading the comments on AirBnb.

I would’ve never taken a leap of faith on renting a place if it weren’t for the fact that Shannon and I leave in 18 days and we need some sort of security for when we get there. I just wish it didn’t have to be so expensive to buy personal space in other parts of the world. But so it goes…

Do any of you readers have experience with trusting your gut & the Internet to commit to something you haven’t seen in real life? If so, please share to make me feel better 🙂

✌🏼

Decisions, Decisions

I’ve received yet another offer from work attempting to make me stay, and I’ve got to be honest, it’s a friggin’ tempting one. They want me to do the same things I’ve been doing, somewhere else, and I don’t want what they have to give me anymore. (Someone told me it’s like dating a man – you want him when you can’t have him. Then when he wants you, you’re over it.)

I’ve already made my decision about what I’m going to do in 2017 and I made it a long time ago. I’m just scared to make it real…to make it known. Well, part of me’s afraid, the other thinks it’s no big deal after the mental and emotional shit I’ve already been through. This is the easy part – I haven’t even left yet!

Yes, the self-journey has begun, and people say starting something is usually the hardest part, but I’m holding my tongue until I’m actually en route to my destination. I’ll have left my life behind on the ground that I’m staring at out the plane window. But how about we start with quitting my job first.

I try not to let worry bother me because there’s no point. A little paranoia is healthy, but questioning things that have already been answered so many times in your head is like a sickness. If there were ever a time to get rid of any doubt, now is it.

Like the things I respond to and move on from in life, I must learn to accept my own decisions.

This here’s the first biggie, and there are thousands – millions, even – to follow. I have to begin depending on my own skill and intuition in this new era. Those things have always been with me, they’ve just never been acted on…never been in control…never dictated any outcomes.

Why do I want to believe that trusting myself will be a mess when every other super successful person in the world became great by doing the same?

✌🏼

Supa Sick Vid

I love Vimeo. The Staff Picks are always head-scratchingly worth watching. Here’s an example of something beautiful that caught my eye and my imagination.

by ZEITGUISED. Here’s another by them:

Friend Fave: Liza Da Great Style Icon

I’m still getting into the swing of friend shoutouts, my friends, so bear with me.

This one goes out to @pranks4players aka Liza Da Great.

Gotta say, Liza…I love your style and how you surpass consistent into stylistic.  Keep it comin’ plz.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BM7xyjmBlNQ/?taken-by=pranks4players

Check out more Liza & go follow @eminenceink.

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Shove This Into Your Vocabulary

Defenestrate: to throw someone/something out of a window.

Example of use: Boy you betta get out the fuck out ma house before you’re defenestrated.

If you’re wondering, this was submitted to the 16 Thoughts Down podcast I participate in at work with my mentor, Frank (not the example, that one was all me). We used to do vocab words. This one lady let us know she binge-listened to 16TD on this random Thursday and had this wonderful word to share with us. There’s something amazing about someone contacting you out of the blue wanting to share things with you. Defenestrate – it’s almost a sentence in one word – roughly what our 16TD listener said.

What’s your favorite vocab word? Teach us something new.

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(Wait so I searched “out window” on giphy.com and this came up:

While you’re at it, listen to this song while watching ↑ this: